One of our annual family highlights at Christmas is to tell a topical joke around the table. Well, it stops us arguing and theyâ€™re generally better than the ones you get in those Xmas crackers, however much you spend on them.
A couple of days ago I was watching the news. MPs were screaming at each other across the floor of the Commons. And it reminded me. I had to start coming up with some ideas for my â€˜joke.â€™
Then as I saw the on-screen promotion for the film â€˜Itâ€™s a Wonderful Life,â€™ I reminded myself for the umpteenth time that whenever a bell rings an angel gets its wings. Suddenly a bell rang in my head.
Now Iâ€™m no angel. This bell was different. More like a bong for the news headlines. And a line appeared in my mind as it did during the wait at the vet when the cat fell ill. That was when I imagined the nurse coming out and saying: â€œItâ€™s bad news Iâ€™m afraid. Itâ€™s curiosity.â€
But will the family find my latest â€˜gagâ€™ amusing? Probably not. The children will just blow raspberries and knock over another glass or two. Buffett the dog will sniff around the plates hoping to pick up â€“ well anything really. And the pause as I reveal all will be as long and as sobering as any other alleged â€˜funnyâ€™ Iâ€™ve come up with over the years.
Well, here it is.
How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit Iâ€™ll ask?
The answer - no Brussels.